not now, Caper.
- Gramps28

Vader in his Prime. The rest I can take it or leave it.

not now, Caper.
- Gramps28

lol seriously

i don't know how to write a script but i'm just pretty good at movie cliches

oh

the first scene with chewbacca will be him like "CHEWBACCA NOISES" and then Han will say "... What?" for huge laffs

there will be a scene that teaches him to shoot first

one of the first scenes of him as an adult will be him womanizing after the intro where his parents die because Star Wars tradition

i should make all this into a checklist and take it into the movie with me

i don't know how to write a script but i'm just pretty good at movie cliches
- Lindenis#1

you're literally writing a script though.

i wrote 8 chapters of a book once.

get @ me.

let's make a million dollars.

you're literally writing a script though.
- kicksave856

scene one

young han solo comes out of a vagina
"what do we name him" says dad
"han solo, because he'll never be alone because we love him so much" says mom
*parents hug baby*

scene 2
han's parents are piloting a shipping vessel while han is playing with that dumb chess alien game from the falcon. Han is 12 now

empire ship intercepts the vessel and traps it in a tractor beam

"hey we're gonna board your ship or blow you up" says a guy in a funny helmet over the radio

Han's parents scramble and hide Han below them in the cockpit, but he's still visible because its a grate or something but no one notices because its a movie

"hey parents, the (frank) is this contraband? you're smuggling Jedi trinkets!"
"oh no" parents get shot dead
"should we search the rest of the ship" says a trooper to another one that has like a red or orange shoulder pad
"no, the ship is obviously empty. lets just leave it here for smugglers or whoever now that we took the Jedi stuff and tossed it out the airlock. DARTH VADER *helmets turn to the camera and stare at the audience* will be so happy with us"

Storm Troopers leave, Han crawls out of the totally visible hiding space and cries over his dead movie parents. After grieving Han tries to pilot the ship to no avail.

"i'll never be good at this" says Han

"hey you stop. we're gonna board you" comes over the space radio

Han panics and hides in the same spot.

On comes new Space Dad, who is a smuggler and is wearing Han's vest and pants with the stripe but a different colour shirt. They enter the cockpit and see Han immediately because they aren't incompetent Storm Troopers

"come out fella. it seems that your parents had a bad day. how about you come with us?"

then it basically turns into Guardians of the Galaxy where Chris Pratt is off adventuring solo at the start of the first movie

Then later in the film he trusts like a lady he wants to bang who says "you don't always need to do things on your own. you can rely on others" and he goes "okay"

but then she sells him out to Jabba or a rival smuggler and he's like "i guess the only person i can truly rely on is myself"

scene one

young han solo comes out of a vagina
"what do we name him" says dad
"han solo, because he'll never be alone because we love him so much" says mom
*parents hug baby*

scene 2
han's parents are piloting a shipping vessel while han is playing with that dumb chess alien game from the falcon. Han is 12 now

empire ship intercepts the vessel and traps it in a tractor beam

"hey we're gonna board your ship or blow you up" says a guy in a funny helmet over the radio

Han's parents scramble and hide Han below them in the cockpit, but he's still visible because its a grate or something but no one notices because its a movie

"hey parents, the (frank) is this contraband? you're smuggling Jedi trinkets!"
"oh no" parents get shot dead
"should we search the rest of the ship" says a trooper to another one that has like a red or orange shoulder pad
"no, the ship is obviously empty. lets just leave it here for smugglers or whoever now that we took the Jedi stuff and tossed it out the airlock. DARTH VADER *helmets turn to the camera and stare at the audience* will be so happy with us"

Storm Troopers leave, Han crawls out of the totally visible hiding space and cries over his dead movie parents. After grieving Han tries to pilot the ship to no avail.

"i'll never be good at this" says Han

"hey you stop. we're gonna board you" comes over the space radio

Han panics and hides in the same spot.

On comes new Space Dad, who is a smuggler and is wearing Han's vest and pants with the stripe but a different colour shirt. They enter the cockpit and see Han immediately because they aren't incompetent Storm Troopers

"come out fella. it seems that your parents had a bad day. how about you come with us?"

then it basically turns into Guardians of the Galaxy where Chris Pratt is off adventuring solo at the start of the first movie

Then later in the film he trusts like a lady he wants to bang who says "you don't always need to do things on your own. you can rely on others" and he goes "okay"

but then she sells him out to Jabba or a rival smuggler and he's like "i guess the only person i can truly rely on is myself"
- Lindenis#1

what an emotional roller coaster

first i was amused, then i was sad when i realized the actual movie won't even be this good.

Every story I've ever written involved talking animals.
















I haven't wrote a story since like grade 8.

space dad also has Han's blaster and belt, because those items need a back story and can't just be things

space dad also has Han's blaster and belt, because those items need a back story and can't just be things
- Lindenis#1

i also saw that rlm episode

but it's true

what an emotional roller coaster

first i was amused, then i was sad when i realized the actual movie won't even be this good.
- daeth

i've bookmarked these pages so i can take them with me into the movie on my notepad

i also saw that rlm episode
- daeth

that really helped fuel my cynicism but i was already cranky about it when i heard they were doing a han solo prequel and then it combined it with my cranky thoughts on rogue one and came to this

Star Wars sucks now

I couldn't even give a (frank) about ep8 and I genuinely liked 7

i've bookmarked these pages so i can take them with me into the movie on my notepad
- Lindenis#1

can they out-cliche you? i'll keep score should i ever watch it which i wont.

when han meets chewy they're like in a prison or the brig or something

and when they go to breakout there is only one weapon they find and its chewy's crossbow and chewy nearly rips han's head off for try to take it

one thing that might be cool is a Chewbacca rampage fight scene like Batman's cool fight scene against the thugs in BvS

that really helped fuel my cynicism but i was already cranky about it when i heard they were doing a han solo prequel and then it combined it with my cranky thoughts on rogue one and came to this

Star Wars sucks now

I couldn't even give a (frank) about ep8 and I genuinely liked 7
- Lindenis#1

rogue one somehow made me like the original trilogy less. really impressive. it's the mass effect 3 of movies

rogue one somehow made me like the original trilogy less. really impressive. it's the mass effect 3 of movies
- daeth

i liked mass effect 3 in chunks. act 1 and 2 are good and there are moments of act 3. i only like rogue one once everyone started dying. when the notable characters were dying in ME3 i was like "oh sad" like Mordin dying

Rogue One is Mass Effect Andromeda

no buys

no buys
- Cape Breton Bruins

thats kinda the point

thats kinda the point
- Lindenis#1

nah uh

no buys
- Cape Breton Bruins

no one gets a buy on their 1st script.

holy (frank) the subplot for Jughead in ep2 of riverdale is (frank)ing retarded

the mayor says one of the dumbdest things i've ever heard

e: (frank) it. dumbdest works

the Hiram Lodge plot line is kinda weak. they build him up as a super villain Lex Luthor kinda guy and he's just "sad dad with rebellious daughter"